3 things I learned from being an expat

I remember the day life changed for my family. It was night-time, the children were finally asleep and I was sitting at my desk doing some work. I felt weary and tired which is pretty normal when you have very little kids. My husband walked past me from the bedroom, heading towards the kitchen for something and as he walked past he mentioned that he’d been asked that day if he’d consider moving to the Philippines to live…

Until that moment life had become pretty boring and I was in a rut. At home with kids I’d lost my sense of adventure and missed it. I missed spontaneity, adventure and freedom, and the work I was doing was uninspiring.

Before kids, my husband and I had a life of adventure. We’d travelled through Asia, backpacked Europe and had our wedding on the cliff tops of Santorini, Greece at sunset. Exploring different cultures and learning about their food and way of life excited us. Then we had kids and our sense of adventure turned into ‘we will…one day’.

In that moment, on that night while sitting at my desk I said ‘let’s have a conversation’ and two months later we were on a flight to our new home, where we stayed for three and a half years.

I’m not going to lie – the decision to move to another country comes with sacrifices. I gave up my work, friends and my community – the things that gave me purpose. But all of that can be rebuilt and there is so much more to be gained from living life around the world.

Knowing this adventure was temporary my husband and I talked about how we’d redesign our life to maximise this experience. We made a commitment to live it full of intention, making the most of every moment we had to discover our new home, explore it, and immerse into our new life.

We made a pact to use weekends for travel and adventure and I named these Adventure Saturday! Or Adventure Sunday! so the kids new what to expect when the weekend came around. We’d pack up the car, heading out into the provinces to explore.

Every day I felt so alive.

Having these adventures allowed me to reconnect with my wildness, that craving for freedom and movement I’d lost. My cells buzzed every day regardless of whether it was an adventure or a normal day getting the grocery shopping done. There was a sense of the extraordinary as I drove down local streets, always finding something new to see and experience. I lived in this heightened state of emotion, riding the ebb and flow as they shifted like ocean waves. It was intoxicating.

As parents, watching our children experience this new way of life also filled us with tremendous joy.

Memories of them jumping off waterfalls and eating dirty-icecream, sweet coconut cream running down tightly clasped fists as they struggled to keep up with the melting moment are the sweetest.

They also muddy the waters between longing to be back in that world of adventure and being satisfied with what we have in the here and now.

Returning Home

Returning home, I wondered how I could keep this sense of wonder and curiosity. Life is very different between that world and this one in Australia. The moments of ‘normal life’ were the same as they are here, but in my expat life they just got wrapped up and absorbed with the exhilaration of our adventures. School runs, laundry and paying bills were all part of that experience too. The challenge would be keeping curiosity alive and filling the gaps between daily obligations with adventure. Here is what I have learned.

3 things I learned from being an expat

Here are the top 3 things I learned from living as an expat.

1. Be open to risk and say ‘Yes’

The joy comes in finding the unexpected, besides, as an expat it how you meet your tribe and find your way around the new world you inhabit.

Taking chances and trying new things isn’t something that comes naturally to many people. We get set in our ways, especially as we get older. But there’s a wonderful discomfort when you step out of your comfort zone, and this is where that buzz comes from. What you discover about yourself can be enlightening.

I leant so much about myself. I learnt it’s okay to be vulnerable and I learnt I was brave when I confronted my fears. Facing my fears meant I could watch my children thrive in our experiences.

I learnt how fearless I could be when I got behind the wheel of our car. In one of the worlds most congested cities, where road rules are unwritten, driving became a favourite past time. It was a game of strategy to me…I do miss those wild rides.

Coming home, I use these lessons to help make decisions about how we view life here.

2. Don’t delay

Living life knowing it’s temporary really changes your perspective. Now we’re home I try to keep a sense of urgency about me and where possible I try not to put off adventures I want to be having. Especially with the children growing older and losing that interest in hanging with their parents, and with different kinds of work commitments our weekends aren’t always our own. This means I value the moments we have together so much more.

But whether as a family, or on my own, we still carve out space to explore, always on the lookout for things that pique our interest, and that provide opportunities to explore. It can be as simple as playing tourist for the day. Just find something touristy people do in your hometown and go do it. You’ll be surprised what you discover.

3. Be observant and curious

Look out of your windows. I’ve practiced gratitude for many years now, but I cannot tell you how much I realised how privileged we are where we live in Perth. Every day I stare at the stunning ocean and watch how the skies change with the weather and feel so grateful that this is my home.

But it goes further than looking out of your home windows. Be observant as you drive around your streets. Go and play tourist for a day and get to know another side of your home town. There is so much we don’t actually know about where we grew up.

I wanted to capture every moment of my life in Manila, so I would constantly stare out of my car windows, taking photos, observing daily life on local roads and marvelling at the texture and complexity of this world. We don’t have quite that texture and complexity here in Australia, but every now and then something catches my eye and I allow my curiosity to follow it, look deeper, do some research and learn something more about this place.

When I meet people now I pay more attention, I ask more questions and I’m not afraid to reach out and just ask questions.

Day to day life isn’t a curated and filtered Instagram page, and most of us aren’t spending our lives climbing mountains, living an extreme life.

But being an expat I learned to take advantage of moments and be open to the opportunity of discovery, even in my own backyard.

It doesn’t need to be big adventure, just something a little different to what you were doing yesterday can add some sparkle and excitement into your life.

The lens through which I view the world is completely different now. I am a better version of myself than I ever could have become if we didn’t move away.