Why?
This quote encompasses so much. You see change is constant. It can be huge, it can be so small it is hardly noticeable. Change is unavoidable, yet so many people try so hard to avoid it.
There is more to it than this though. You see I view change as being very much about attitude. I am all about attitude. I am all about understanding your attitude and that of others. I am all about understanding how your attitude affects your behaviour, which affects the attitude and behaviour of those around you. This in itself is change.
Change is defined as ‘to make or become different’. (Cambridge English Dictionary)
So you see it is as much about you – being ‘to make’ as it is about the other people, things, elements involved – ‘to become’. It even works the other way around.
Now I ask you to go a little deeper.
I see change and attitude as being very much about influence. The ability to influence is such a tremendous gift that every person has. Whether you want it or not.
In my professional world I constantly talk about influence. Specifically I talk about being mindful of your attitude and behaviour, because everyone influences all of the time. So I ask people ‘how do you want your influence to be?’ When people walk away, do you care that they think of you somehow? Perhaps not, and does it really matter? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. The thing is people are going to either be influenced in a positive way by you, or in a negative way. Whether that was your intention or not. You do not have to be the stand out in the crowd, or the person who really goes for the cause, who gives so passionately about everything. I just ask that you consider how nice it would be to have some sort of imprint somewhere, somehow. Something that shows even to one person or to our earth that you are here, and that there is a point to that. What point would you like that to be? For me I am not the person put here to be the next Gandhi. However I have a few things I like to consider I am able to influence in those around me. My favourite one though, is all about kindness. Small daily random acts of kindness that can be as simple as a smile to acknowledge someone, to something more significant. Like the time that lady stopped and gave me her fly-net to cover my face while I was trying to jog pushing the pram with the two children. It was along the coast when the flies were so thick you could not open your mouth without gagging on them. I was trying to push the pram with one hand while swooshing with the other and it was not working! That gesture has been so significant for me. It is my litmus test. Or when our beautiful friend offered to take care of our beloved cat while we are here in the Philippines. Her way of paying it forward for a similar gesture made to her years ago. I bet her friends did not ever think that gift would have such a significant legacy. We plan on paying it forward too. We want to keep that positive gesture going.
I believe strongly in not turning away. I believe in standing up for what you believe in, and if you do it the right way maybe more will face your direction. Embrace your role in the influence of a group, community and society. One person may feel they don’t have much influence to create change but they would be wrong. Success in change is not only indicative of the number of people who come along for the ride, or the scope of what you do. It is about the type of change you invoke. The type of change you influence.
How can we do this? Well here are a few ideas to summarise what I have said:
Be mindful of your attitude towards people and situations. What is your attitude doing? Is it closing you off to possibility? Is it negative and closing you off to other people? Is it offensive? Hindering? Or is your attitude positive and able to show people a different way of seeing the situation. A great question to ask of others, as well as of yourself is: ‘Is there another way of looking at this?’
There is always a conversation that can be had. Rather than turn your back on a situation that seems so huge. Open a dialogue. Yes talk is cheap, but constructive dialogue is a good place to start in creating change. Constructive dialogue can change attitudes, beliefs, and values and can lead to action. Here is part of some feedback I have received from my SaltyBug blog: “…a lot of things rang true to me and a lot of things you said made me think about my life and how I can make a few positive changes…. amazing!” – That is what I am talking about. Ask ‘how’ and ‘what next’ a lot more often.
Spend a few minutes today thinking about how you want your influence to be. Ask your close (and honest) friends and family about the qualities they love and admire about you. See what they say. Is there an opportunity to build on that? Set a goal- a proper SMART goal and create some small change in your life around your influence.
I am not perfect. I am not fabulous, kind, caring and a total Earth Mother all of the time. However I acknowledge this, and I constantly strive to be a better person. That is what matters – and that is part of active change. Acknowledge where you fall down and then work constructively to change for the better.