This is my new normal, in this moment. I am sitting here in McCafe enjoying my Flat White – a coffee style you don’t come across too often in this city. The soulful and chilled music sings out over the speakers and every so often in-between the words I write, I find myself singing along. Looking up I see the staff busying themselves, lips moving in time to the lyrics. It is hot today. Humid. Sweat beads threaten to fall off my forehead; I gave up wiping them away long ago. Such is life here. My seat is comfortable, a café style round back chair with padded seat and I can sit back in it and feel at ease. The staff here are getting to know me now. Yesterday when I walked in Irene, who usually makes my coffee commented on how tired I was looking that day. Today she is correcting my dodgy Tagalog. ‘I will bring your coffee over’ she says sweetly. ‘Maraming Salamat’ I reply as I gratefully take my regular seat. My cowboy hat taking up its proper place alongside me. These days I don’t leave home without my hat. Too much sun over here. Those who know me, know my catch-cry ‘I don’t do sun’.
Why am I here, day after day?
School has started.
I have written before about the traffic congestion here. It is what Manila is known for. I found a school for BB just down the road. In fact 0.82km away, straight down the C5. On a good day it takes four minutes to get here. Getting home takes about twenty minutes because of the route we have to take.
Classes run Monday to Friday, FB’s are an hour and a half and BB’s classes are three hours.
We have not purchased a car yet, but we knew we needed to step up because of school starting. We just did not realise school was starting so soon. I had no idea about the Summer School Program until the week before it started. So why am I sitting in McCafe? Because the time it takes to get a taxi and then travel home, is such that I would not have time to then catch another taxi and get back to school in time to pick the children up. Every taxi or car I have had for our school run has not even known where the school is. I have had taxi’s cancel on me for after-school pickup because they cannot find this place. We are often left waiting for twenty minutes as multiple calls are made between me and a non-english speaking driver, so I can direct them. My trick these days is to hand my phone to someone who understands and I stand helpless listening to the exchange. Just hoping.
So here I am, creating my new routine for now. We get up extra early. School starts at 8am. I bring the children to their classrooms, kiss and cuddle them goodbye. I put on my hat and walk the one hundred and twenty (approximately) meters up to the top end of the street to McCafe. I say good morning and I get my coffee and I have this short ninety minutes to write. Then I walk back to school and sit in FB’s classroom so she can keep on playing until BB finishes. Then we have the game of getting a car home. I feel anxious at this time. It is when I finally get to sit in the backseat with FB snuggled under my arm and the children delighting me with stories of their day that I can relax.
Eastwood, one of my favourite playgrounds is walking distance to me now. It is about another one hundred meters up the C5. It just isn’t a safe place for a Westerner to walk, and the shops don’t actually open until 11am. It’s okay though. I’m getting used to this new normal. For now. I really like having this space for me, to just write. Even if it is in McCafe. At first when I realised this school thing would take up about five hours in my already short days I felt sick. I felt frustrated. Another adaption needed to get us through and I resented it. Once I had my moment though I got to turn things around. What is the opportunity here? How can I make the best of this? Now, I look forward to this space I get, and I feel satisfied.
We started this new routine last week. We made it to school for three days as I became very sick with a chest infection. I could not muster the strength to go through this dance when I could barely breathe and my limbs felt like weights pulling me under water ,so we missed two days.
I got to the doctor eventually. Actually not until this week. Six days after I first fell ill. SB was away over the weekend, with no car and the children with me I just could not muster the energy to deal with the hospital. I have only ever taken the children to the doctor here, now it was my turn. On Monday my friend lent me her car and driver, and my cleaner looked after the children at home, after school. I was able to go alone. Thankfully. When I finally got into the doctor I was shocked at how easily she prescribed me a cocktail of medications. Four to be exact. Back home you need to have a limb hanging off to be prescribed any antibiotics. Doctors are so strict now because of their misuse over the years. I am not a person who freely takes medication anyway. I prefer natural remedies before all else, and letting the body manage fever and infection to its best natural ability. However this past week, with soaring humidity and the risk of pneumonia lurking I did not care about any of that. I went to the chemist counter in the clinic and said ‘load me up’. Another difference here. Back home we would get a neat little box with the pills inside. Here pills are allocated out, and you are just given a pile of tablets in a paper bag. No packaging, except for the blister pack the capsules and pills are encased in. I watched with interest as the Pharmacist carefully unpackaged pills, counted and cut out the correct number of each type for me.
Here I am now, five days into my medications and I am feeling better. Still exhausted, it’s hanging on this infection.
This week we have had friends over from home. A few guys who work with SB, and one I am particularly fond of so I was so excited at the chance to see these familiar faces. I just really need to see faces from home. We invited them over and we had our first dinner party. Last weekend I was sitting at my friend’s kitchen bench reading through her amazing cookbooks while she cooked up a feast and our children played. We talked food, fitting in, finding friends, ingredients. The usual things you find yourself talking about as an Expat. I found a few recipes and I talked about cooking them up for our friends so she copied them for me. Sunday, with raging illness, fever and two small children hanging off me I went off shopping for ingredients. Monday after the Doctors office I settled into my kitchen for the afternoon to bake.
There are a lot of things I miss about home, but I choose not to dwell on them. There are a few rituals however that I am starting to really miss and so now I am making them a focus, to try and bring some more normal back into everyday. The first is baking with the children. I loved having the children in the kitchen as we poured, tipped, sifted, stirred and taste-tested. Baking cupcakes, biscuits. The joy on little faces when treats were baked and we got to make mess with coloured icing and shiny decorations. So on Monday I got my FB into the kitchen with me to make delicious light delights for our friends. We made Almond and Orange Florentines. Deliciously simple FB delighted in tipping flaked almonds into the bowl and watching the cloud of sugar dust fill the air as I measured out the icing sugar. Her little hand curled around the wooden spoon as she mixed everything up. As I zested orange into the bowl little sounds of wonder and excitement made me smile. FB thought the smell of the orange was beautiful so we got out the juicer and with our hands entwined, together we juiced up the orange for her to drink. ‘Mmmm Delicious Mummy!’
I showed FB how we wet our fingers and pick up the biscuit mixture to place on the tray. Then together we used the fork to flatten them into shape. Once cooked FB was the chief taste tester and once approved, we all got to have a taste of these gorgeous treats.
The other ritual I am missing is doing craft with the children. Last week we did some painting. It felt difficult. I guess I need to get used to our space. Or lack of. For a writers link up this week I reposted something I wrote before we moved away, about doing craft with the children. It got me feeling really homesick for those times. So I have pulled out my craft books. I am collecting ‘tools’ we can make cool stuff with and my goal over these next few weeks is to get organised so we can do cool craft stuff again!
I have all of my sewing stuff still in its shipping box. I haven’t got a table yet to set up my sewing machine. I haven’t got drawers or cupboards into which I can unload my fabric collection, my bits and bobs. I look at my box and while my days are full right now. I do feel sad that this important part of me is locked away. FB has grown out of her shorts and I have lovely patterns hidden away with which I can create her one-off masterpieces. I need to find a way. I need to get a table and set myself up and then we can all start being more creative around our new home.
These are new goals and there is no time like today to start making positive changes so I am busying myself figuring out our next projects and setting goals. Next week our new little friend is coming over to bake biscuits with us. It will be so lovely to have more little fingers in the cookie dough bowl.
4 Comments
Awesome..I like your post.
Thankyou for stopping by Icah.
I can fully understand the challenges you're going through, Sarah. I bet if I went 'home' today, even I would feel like a foreigner too as I'd gotten used to first world conditions. This is why I only have respect and admiration for your courage and perspective. You're right about having goals in mind, some sort of a to-do list, no matter how trivial they might be to others. It does help our perspective. Thanks for sharing your new normal!
Thank you for stopping by Joy. Yes I find having little goals is very helpful, and you have to 'yes' a lot more often too so you not only get out more, but having an affirmative attitude helps you problem solve and build resilience. I always find an opportunity in a challenge. xx