SB and I were talking recently about how we need to make the most of everything now. We need to stop taking our present life for granted. Spend more time outside, at the beach, in the park, with our beautiful friends…
This got me thinking about a shift I have noticed in me since this decision was made. I am feeling more aware of my surroundings. It is like I have just woken up after a drowsy, super long afternoon sleep.
It has been a busy few weeks with Christmas and my BB’s 4thBirthday. Throughout this time though I have remained very focused about moving away from here.
I have mentally packed up the house now. I’m waiting. I don’t like waiting. There are so many uncertainties – when are we going, how will it happen… I really want to feel like I’m moving towards our destination, not stuck in this limbo I have been in for so long now. I get asked – is there any news? A date set yet? No, not yet. Nearly. But we are going – for sure!
What matters right now is staying present in this moment.
I’ve noticed that since we decided to leave our home by the sea that I’m trying to take in every single little moment. It’s like I’m trying to capture everything in my mind so I don’t forget.
The way the wind feels on my face, the way the sand feels on my skin, squishing through my toes. The sound of my children’s laughter through the lapping waves on the shore. Yes we will visit other beaches, but this is our beach, our special private place where no one can touch us. Maybe the rhythms of the ocean are different here somehow.
The way our luscious garden looks. The way the children go hunting and gathering each day in the veggie patch, their delighted voices drifting back to me as they locate more ripe berries for eating. Little faces beaming through bright red juice stains.
I notice things now, I notice when there is little traffic on the roads, and I notice the sound of silence at night.
I keep thinking about everything that is so familiar. All that makes up our world – which we take for granted will soon be gone. Other family’s faces on our street, the beach path and at the shops – will all be recreated with time in our new home.
New certainties will become real. Knowledge of our new local area will become. I expect we will flounder around for a while, not sure of what to trust, which way is up. Then slowly normalcy will start. It will start with that which won’t be changed. How our family is together. The way I wake up in the morning (I’m NOT a morning person!), how adorable the children look with that ‘just woken up’ puffy face and sticky-uppy hair. How we greet each other with cuddles and kisses. Then I expect it will start to leech out to what we will be doing today, tomorrow, on the weekend.
What does this say about how even without intention, we take things for granted. There is always tomorrow…