This fortnight’s Write or Die Wednesday prompt is ‘Fog’. I considered a range of approaches and chose to write some fiction.
There was a time when it was all clear. My heart would race, my eyes lit up and my heart skipped a beat. The thought that we would see each other on this day. Gosh that was years ago. Remember that time we were with our newly married friends, the ones we thought were a little unhappy? We were holding hands that day as we walked, and they laughed at us and said they were married now so they did not need to do that. I thought ‘you should never stop holding hands’. I will never stop holding your hand.
It has all been right, it always has been. No matter the troubled waters we find ourselves in we always find our way out. So I guess this time we were in this fog, gosh it was thick. I could not see my hand as I outstretched it looking for yours. I felt like we were in the middle of the bush, walking in the dewy night and my toes crinkled up in the leaf litter on the ground. I could hear the scurrying sounds of animals as they forage for food. But you know, I was not afraid, because I knew you were mine and I was yours.
For always.
My hand is slipping now and I don’t know why. All I see are flashes of light and hear slivers of sound like something is cutting through the fabric of life. I don’t understand. I am searching for you but you have gone. Well I can’t see you but I feel you with me. I do love you, you know that right? You didn’t leave because you weren’t sure did you? I am sorry if you did. It was never my intention to make you feel inadequate, or like you didn’t matter because you do. (What is that sound?)
Now I feel like I am floating. This fog surrounds me and I can see the water crystals like they are normal size but I know they aren’t. As I am here I look around and I can see my body in this mass of air, the crystals are forming all around me and covering my skin. I raise my hand and it feels like I am in slow motion. I turn it around in front of me as I see it glisten and glow – like in that stupid vampire story. As I breathe I feel the cool air enter my lungs. It feels forced somehow.
Those lights are over there again, and the sounds. Images of something. Maybe nothing.
I am back in that bush and I take a deep breath. I smell the fresh cool air and the smell of the trees and the flowers. The scents that tell me I am home. Like that time we came home from Europe. Do you remember that? We were so tired and so excited to come home and leaving the international airport in the middle of the night the warm air touched our skin and our senses were assaulted with the eucalyptus and my goodness my knees went weak. I do like it here in this place I just wish I knew where you were.
Oh, I see you now. How did you get over there? I see your silhouette through the fog. Where have you been? Why didn’t you reach for me when I reached for you?
‘Come back. Please’. I hear you say.
I am here. Hold my hand. I look at my hand again as I reach out, turning it around to take in each angle and it feels heavy. Like it is weighed down. Looking up I see you again and you seem so sad. ‘Don’t make me say goodbye’, not yet.
Then I see. Then I see the light. The fragments like the fog, come together to form an image. The crystals of the fog come together to form the rain. I see it. I see you standing over the road holding our coffees and my heart skips a beat. My eyes are lit up and I am desperate to reach you. I run to you and then you are gone. It is all gone. It is all black nothingness. Until I am standing back here in this bush.
I understand now that I must choose. Do I stay in this bush and become crystals, become part of this fog? Or do I reach out harder, further and find you?
I want you. I choose you.
My eyes open and the light assaults me. My eyes fill with water from the surprise of this and everything is blurred. I feel the strength of where I lay, the crisp cool sheets under my body, the warmth of the room. I feel you next to me. I feel your hand holding mine. I feel you. You came for me, and I came back for you. I am starting to notice where I am, I hear the sound of the ventilator and I make out the shapes of the tubes and the angles of the room. I understand now. I will be okay and you are back by my side.
